Dear friends,
Want to know how I calm my anxious mind?
It's a five-minute-a-day habit where I recite a mantra listing three things I want in my life. What I repeat is based on three things that make me feel anxious.
I call this habit my “Meditating Monkey Mind.” After I coined this term, I learned that it’s already a Buddhist practice of quieting a restless mind of swirling worries, ideas, and anxieties.
Starting to Meditate
For years, I resisted learning how to meditate because I felt there was a right way and a wrong way to meditate. All the books and examples overwhelmed me.
But two years ago, when the pandemic started, I felt so anxious that I started to “meditate.”
During that time, the things that made me feel the most anxious were:
I was worried my 70-year-old mom would get COVID.
I was worried my sister Violet, who lives with my mom, would get COVID and spread it to my mom.
These worries plagued my mind every day. This is a time before the world knew when vaccines would be released. I felt helpless since my mom and sister live 2000 miles away from me.
To slowly calm my mind, this is what I did: Every day, I set a timer for five minutes, sat on my futon, closed my eyes, and repeated these phrases until the timer beeped: My mom is healthy. Violet is healthy. My family is healthy. My mom is healthy. Violet is healthy. My family is healthy.
When my mind wandered and followed worries or to do items, I gently brought my mind back to those three mantras.
When I repeated my mantras, sometimes I pictured my mom and Violet in my mind, and I imagined a white bubble of protective energy surrounding them.
Three Reasons Why You Want to Start Meditating
Below are three blessings in my life since I started my Meditating Monkey Mind practice. Which of the below benefits sound appealing to you?
A sense of control: You don’t have control over so many things in the world or in your life. But if you can exercise control over one thing in your life, it can remind you that you have the power to do something. Every day, you possess the ability to take a five-minute self-care break to repeat a calming mantra. Having control over this one sliver of your life builds your feeling of empowerment, especially when you feel helpless about so many things.
Residual calming energy: My friend, Leo, asked, “Jenny, meditating calms you in the present moment. But are you less anxious now than two years ago?” I answered, “Yes! Have you ever talked with an angry person with negative energy? After you leave their presence, you still feel unsettled because you carry their residual negative energy. It's like the half-life principle of radioactive decay from high school chemistry. The toxicity decreases and decreases, but it's still there. This half-life principle is similar to the leftover residual positive feeling from meditating. Meditation decreases your anxiety in the present moment. But its calming effect extends beyond those five minutes.”
A way to stop an Instagram addiction: After bathroom breaks, I used to reach for my phone and scroll through Instagram, hoping to be entertained, inspired, or feel a connection with someone. Are you addicted to Instagram or social media? Social media can exacerbate a neediness within us. But it’s hard to tell ourselves, “Stop doing that unhealthy habit.” Change is easier if we choose an alternative plan in advance. Tell yourself, “When I want to repeat this unhealthy habit, instead, do this healthy habit. When I want to reach for my phone to check Instagram, instead, turn on my timer for five minutes, sit on the futon, and repeat my calming mantras.”
Three Steps to Transform Your Monkey Mind into a Meditating Monkey Mind
What are three things you feel anxious about? Let’s call these “negative situations.”
What is the opposite of what you feel anxious about? Let’s call them “positive situations.”
Phrase each positive situation as an “I am” statement. These three “I am” statements will become your meditation mantras.
After my mom and sister received their COVID vaccinations, my anxiety about their well-being decreased.
But these three anxieties overtook my mind:
I worry about getting sick.
I worry about getting mugged. (I walk everywhere. Every other week, a business or pedestrian gets mugged within one mile of where I live, usually at gunpoint or with a knife.)
I worry about my mind getting jittery and bouncing around all over the place. I hate that uneasy feeling when my mind is distracted and cannot focus.
The above statements are my “negative situations.” Below are “positive situations,” the opposite of what I feel anxious about. They are phrased as “I am” statements:
I am healthy.
I am safe.
I am centered.
When I had first meditated two years ago, this was my mantra, "My mom is healthy. Violet is healthy. My family is healthy,” because my family’s health was my first worry. Now, when I meditate, this is the mantra I repeat, “I am healthy, safe, and centered. I am healthy, safe, and centered.”
Four Ways to Incorporate Five-Minute Meditation into Your Life
You Can Meditate Anywhere. You can fill your life with your calming mantras anywhere and everywhere. You don’t need to lace up running shoes and put on a Coolmax shirt that wicks sweat off your body. Meditating can be as short as you want. When you start looking for one-minute and five-minute pockets for your mantras, you’ll start to find them. It’s like asking yourself to look for VW bugs, and then, you start to notice those cute round cars on every other street.
Waiting: When you’re waiting for someone, waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting for the bus to arrive, or sitting in your car waiting for the traffic to move
Walking: When you’re walking. What if you repeat your meditation mantras every time you leave your desk to walk to the water cooler or bathroom?
Break: When you’re at work and you feel stuck or frustrated about what step to take next. Meditating can give you a fresh perspective.
Transitioning: If you work from home, meditate after your workday ends to let go of your work worries and have a clearer mind for your personal life. Or if you return home from commuting, change into comfortable clothes and meditate for a few minutes to help your mind transition. This way, you can let go of the challenges from your workday and the annoyances from your commute instead of dumping them onto your loved ones when you see them.
Five-Step Quick Start Guide to Start Meditating
What are three things you feel anxious about?
What is the opposite of what you feel anxious about?
Create “I am” statements to become your meditation mantras.
This week, when do you anticipate waiting, walking, taking breaks, or transitioning? Could any of those times be good times to repeat your mantras? When is a good time for you to meditate each day?
Set a phone reminder to prompt you to meditate. Add meditation to your weekly and daily to-do lists. Your Monkey Mind Wants to Meditate.
Best wishes in meditating,
Jenny
This was such a useful post, Jenny. I liked the idea of meditating as you transition from one part of your day to another.
Very helpful! These are my reminders.
-I am making progress toward my goals.
-I'll always be able to feed my family.
-I'm not separate from others.