What Grogu Can Remind People Pleasers About Valuing Ourselves

You Are Like Baby Yoda. You Are Inherently Loveable

Dear friends,

I love Grogu!

But I began loving him even more after I discovered what Grogu can remind people pleasers about valuing ourselves.

(If you’re unfamiliar with Grogu: He’s an adorable baby-Yoda-like character in Disney’s The Mandalorian TV show.)

I love the friendship between the Mandalorian (Mando) and Grogu because of what it symbolizes:

• Mando loves Grogu, because Grogu is Grogu. Mando loves Grogu because of who Grogu is, not because of what Grogu does. Grogu is inherently loveable.

• The Imperials want Grogu in their lives because of what Grogu can do for them. Grogu has superpowers. Grogu can heal. Grogu can hover his tiny hand over your arm and remove poisonous venom. Grogu can move things with his mind. Grogu can raise his hand and stop a 30,000-pound monster from charging forward, and Grogu can put a sleep spell on that monster.

Grogu loves Mando for many reasons. But one reason is this:

Grogu knows that Mando loves Grogu because

• Grogu is Grogu

• not because of what Grogu can do for Mando.

For People Pleasers:

You can treat the above Grogu metaphor as a Mad Lib to remind you:

You are loved

because you are you

not because of what you do.

In the above metaphor, replace:

• The word “Grogu” with your name (e.g., Jenny)

• The word “Mando” with the name of someone who loves you unconditionally (e.g., Jenny’s mom)

• Replace the words “the Imperial” with something such as “society” or “people who don’t matter” or someone who only likes you because you do things for them (e.g., name of your manipulative coworker)

• Replace Grogu’s superpowers with nice things that you do for other people (especially if you felt guilt-tripped or social pressure to do those things) such making cookies or creating a commissioned painting for a fundraiser when you are stretched thin, agreeing to go to an event you don’t want to attend…

Here’s my metaphor:

Jenny’s mom loves Jenny, because Jenny is Jenny. Jenny’s mom loves Jenny because of who Jenny is, not because of what Jenny does. Jenny is inherently loveable.

Some people want Jenny in their lives because of what Jenny can do for them. Jenny is a fantastic listener.  Some people only call Jenny when they want to complain about their lives to Jenny. Jenny makes happy art. One acquaintance commissioned Jenny to make a painting for her but never paid Jenny.

Three Quotes

• To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. – Thich Nhat Hanh

• You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha

• If you surround yourself with love and the right people, anything is possible. – Adam Green

Journaling Prompt

1. List people who appreciate you for who you are, not for what you do for them.

2. List people who appreciate you because you do things for them.

Spend more time with people in the first list.

Best wishes,

Jenny

P.S. I’d be happy to hear what you resonated with in this newsletter. I’d love to learn how I can help you add more self-compassion to your life. If you reply to this email, it will get to me. I read and respond to every reply. Have a wonderful day!

Acknowledgements

This article contains Grogu fan art created by Jenny Messerle. Grogu is a character from The Mandalorian TV show. The Grogu character was created by Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni. The Mandalorian is inspired by George Lucas’ Star Wars. Grogu is often referred to as “Baby Yoda.” The Yoda character was created by George Lucas.