This is such helpful advice Jenny! More people should talk about this, and love how you touched on it with your gentle, helpful and kind voice. You used some very resonating examples for me, and it's also something we see everywhere, from people not returning calls or not coming. We shouldn't abscribe things that are not there, or make it about ourselves. It's (almost) never about me!
It also made think of two things. Hanlon's razor: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity" (substitute "malice" and "stupidity" with anything that is not related to me haha. And also this funny Craig Mod paragraph that I have saved:
"Don’t get notified when anyone unsubscribes from anything. I can’t believe some newsletter / membership software DEFAULTS — d e f a u l t s — to emailing you when someone unsubscribes or cancels a membership. are. you. mad? Who are these Sadist Engineers of the Fifth Circle of Hell setting these defaults? The quickest route to declining mental health is to open yourself up to this attack vector. Close it down and keep it shut. Members leave for all sorts of reasons, and “you suck and are a dumb dumb and I hate you” is almost certainly not the (main?) one. (Though it is the one your mind will scream at you upon arrival of each unsubscribe email.)"
And know that I love what your write!! (even if I can't always read or comment)
Ah, my dear friend Oscar! Your thoughtful message makes me happy. I was also giggling and grinning at your direct, kind conversational advice. I imagined seeing your animated soul on Zoom.
Yes, I especially resonate with your initial example. After I call, email*, or text a friend, if they don’t reply right away, I doubt the validity or kindness in my message while I wait. I fill that period doubting if my friend still likes me and wondering if I was too presumptuous, negative, etc.
I will definitely be using your Hanlon’s Razor!
Thank you for unconditional friendship. I appreciate you! 🙏🙏
*Except with friends like you who we’ve already established a “take as long as you want to reply” affirmation. 🌈🌈
You are AMAZING Jenny! Worthy and awesome! Just recommended your newsletter, not because of this post, but because I've genuinely fallen in love with your words and soul!
This is such helpful advice Jenny! More people should talk about this, and love how you touched on it with your gentle, helpful and kind voice. You used some very resonating examples for me, and it's also something we see everywhere, from people not returning calls or not coming. We shouldn't abscribe things that are not there, or make it about ourselves. It's (almost) never about me!
It also made think of two things. Hanlon's razor: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity" (substitute "malice" and "stupidity" with anything that is not related to me haha. And also this funny Craig Mod paragraph that I have saved:
"Don’t get notified when anyone unsubscribes from anything. I can’t believe some newsletter / membership software DEFAULTS — d e f a u l t s — to emailing you when someone unsubscribes or cancels a membership. are. you. mad? Who are these Sadist Engineers of the Fifth Circle of Hell setting these defaults? The quickest route to declining mental health is to open yourself up to this attack vector. Close it down and keep it shut. Members leave for all sorts of reasons, and “you suck and are a dumb dumb and I hate you” is almost certainly not the (main?) one. (Though it is the one your mind will scream at you upon arrival of each unsubscribe email.)"
And know that I love what your write!! (even if I can't always read or comment)
Ah, my dear friend Oscar! Your thoughtful message makes me happy. I was also giggling and grinning at your direct, kind conversational advice. I imagined seeing your animated soul on Zoom.
Yes, I especially resonate with your initial example. After I call, email*, or text a friend, if they don’t reply right away, I doubt the validity or kindness in my message while I wait. I fill that period doubting if my friend still likes me and wondering if I was too presumptuous, negative, etc.
I will definitely be using your Hanlon’s Razor!
Thank you for unconditional friendship. I appreciate you! 🙏🙏
*Except with friends like you who we’ve already established a “take as long as you want to reply” affirmation. 🌈🌈
Hahaha glad you put that note * loved it... and so accurate for our online relationship 😂 Goes both ways obviously as you know!
Glad my example resonated!! I love our fruitful exchanges :)
I’m thankful for our friendship, dear Oscar! You have a beautiful mind and beautiful soul. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
☺️☺️☺️ It's mutual and I think the same of you Jenny!
You are AMAZING Jenny! Worthy and awesome! Just recommended your newsletter, not because of this post, but because I've genuinely fallen in love with your words and soul!
Thank you so much, my beautiful radiant friend Shruthi!! I’m so honored by your words and your recommendation.
I’m still glowing from our chat and feeling your radiant soul. Love, Jenny 😘😘❤️❤️❤️💚💚💙💜💜
You are already good enough. You are worthy. Actions by anyone else have nothing to do with that.
Thank you Jenny for such an important perspective and post.
(PS: It's also easier when you turn off unsubscribe notifications, which someone recommended we do, and is great advice!)
Thank you so much, my wonderful friend James! I’m so happy to hear from you! 😍😍Thank you for the beautiful reminders 🙏🙏🙏and tip! 🌈🌈
I’m glad you found value in my sharing of mu vulnerability and reframing.
I appreciate you! I hope you are doing well. 🌈🌈💕💕💕